so what

yah so what?

You say you can change things. WHY LATER? WHY NOT NOW?
WHY ARE YOU SO HEAVY?
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND AT ALL.
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO FEEL SAD?

YOU THOUGHT YOU DID WELL, YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD DONE SOMETHING GOOD. THERE IS NOTHING THAT YOU HAVE DONE WELL OR GREAT OR WHATEVER YOU MAKE YOUSELF CHEERFUL.

SHOULD I ALWAYS FEEL THIS ALL THE WAY TO THE END? WHEN DO YOU CHANGE? OR WILL YOU CHANGE ANYTHING? WHY DO YOU LIKE IT? IF YOU LIKE IT WHY NOT TRYING HARDER THAN EVER UNTIL THE POINT THAT YOU FEEL KINDA CONFIDENT?

HOW CAN YOU BREAK THIS ROTTEN AND STINKY CHAIN AROUND YOURSELF? ARE YOU TRYING TO LEAVE THERE? REALLY?

FORGET ABOUT THE PAST, THIS IS WHERE YOU ARE. THIS IS THE AIR YOU BREATHE EVERYDAY. DO NOT DREAM OF YOUR DREAM PAST. YESTERDAY IS YESTERDAY. TODAY IS TODAY AND TOMORROW IS TOMORROW. IT SHOULD BE ALWAYS BETTER. SOMETIMES IT GETS DOWN BUT YOU DON HAVE TO GO WAY WAY WAY DOWN AS YOU DO EVERYTIME YOU FEEL DOWN.

SO ANYWAY I FOUND MYSELF AS ALONE, TOTAL LONLINESS. HOW COME? BECAUSE, YOU HAVE NOT TRIED TO BECOME FRIENDS WITH ANYBODY. I THOUGHT I HAD FRIENDS. WELL I AM WRONG. I THOUGHT MY FRIENDS WERE MY FRIENDS. I DIDN'T HAVE THE RESPECT TO THEM. CAN'T SAY HOW MUCH I'VE BEEN RUDE TO EVERYBODY AROUND ME. YOU WILL NOT MAKE NEW FRIENDS UNTIL YOU KEEP THE RELATIONSHIP WITH ANYBODY YOU HAVE NOW. YOU SHOULD KNOW HOW TO COMMUNICATE WITH PEOPLE AND HOW TO KEEP COMMUNICATING WITH THEM WITHOUT HAVING UNCOMFORTABLE BRANKS.


AND WRITING DOESN'T HEAL ANYTHIING YOU OR ME OR WHOEVER READING IT.
JUST CRAP AGAIN.
AM I WASTING TIME? AFTER ALL LEARNING THE BIGGEST LESSON TO COUNT EVERY SECOND AS GOLD?
THAT'S WHY YOU STAY STUPID.

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